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Resilience

 

Resilience is a term originally used in engineering, and refers to the ability to bend but not break. Resilience isn’t something you automatically have (or don’t have), but something that can increase and decrease according to the current situation you find and make for yourself. This means that resilience is something that you do, and nurture in yourself.
 
Woman working on building resilience after some difficult times

7 ways you can promote resilience in yourself and others

Values

It’s important that you identify what is most valuable, important, or desirable in life to you — both what you currently have and what you wish to achieve.

A person with a ‘why’ to live can deal with any ‘how.’ — Nietzsche

Ask yourself where you want to be, in relation to this value, in one year, ten years or over your entire life. Then set realistic goals around these values that include daily and weekly tasks, no matter how small.

Surround yourself — your room, house, work place, etc. with things and people that link in some way to these values.

Keep in mind that change is normal. So, allow your values to change shape or lose/gain priority for you over time, as you experience and learn more through life’s changes. If/when this happens, re-clarify your values by thinking about them again from scratch, or identifying and making new ones.

Physical health

Health and fitness will mitigate against the potential harm of high or prolonged stress. Healthiness has also been found to promote a more positive/optimistic mindset and a better ability to cope.

Encourage yourself to increase the activity in your lifestyle. Get at least 30 hours of exercise a day (in which your heart rate increases). Try to eat foods that are as unprocessed as possible, like fresh vegetables and whole grains. Minimise your intake of caffeine, alcohol and nicotine. Get regular, sound rest (quiet time and sleep). Engage in hobbies that are creative and use both your brain and hands.

All of these habits have been connected to increased resilience.

Have personal heroes

Identify a handful of significant people or ‘personal heroes.’ They can be people you look up to and or admire. Try to think of someone who has an attitude you admire, or are living their life in ways that you want to learn from and model yourself after in some way. These people can be friends or family, famous people, historical icons, fact or fiction. Whether you can talk to them or not you can still learn from them.

Identify what it is about them that you look up to, what values do they have that you connect with? Then ask yourself things like, ‘What would they do in this situation?’ ‘What would they think about what I am doing?’ ‘What might they do to achieve this goal?’ ‘What might be most important to them and why?’

Regulate your emotions

Another important factor in promoting resilience, within yourself and others, is developing the ability, skills, and discipline to manage intense negative emotions in the moments they occur. It’s important to remember that it’s normal and okay to feel the whole range of emotions (positive and negative), whether you’re male or female. It’s more about engaging in appropriate behaviours, emotional expression, and cognitive strategies. You could also find sustainable ways of ‘letting off steam’ regularly during the week.

Be social

Social support has consistently been found to be a huge protective factor for a range of stressors, mental health and even physical well-being. Set aside time to socialise, especially with people who fit those values you identified in point one above.

Live in the moment

Enjoy the ‘little things’ in life – whatever these may be for you. Notice and acknowledge them in yourself, the world around you and in others. Create personal or social rituals where these little things happen.

If you’ve never given it a try before, look into mindfulness. Mindfulness is being present in this moment, now, and giving it your full attention.

Value your challenges

Research into what makes one person more resilient and another less resilient found that:

the person who demonstrates more resilience over time is the person who is regularly (though not constantly) exposed to and overcomes small to medium level personal life challenges.

It’s thought that each personal challenge provides you with practice  and experience in utilising your resources and problem solving skills. These are lessons learnt that really help when big personal challenges come along later. This is called the ‘inoculation effect’, as it works in the same way a vaccine does, by giving you a small dose of ‘the bad thing’ so that your body learns to handle it.

This makes the challenges we encounter a bit more meaningful, and thus a bit more bearable. But it also means that you could actually increase your level of resilience by setting for yourself small to medium personal challenges to work through and overcome. If you make the challenges link with the things you identify in point one above – all the better!

Self esteem

Self esteem is the way in which you think and feel about yourself. It may be high (i.e. I am worthwhile, I can do anything, I am fun to be around) or low (i.e. I am worthless, I am boring, I am afraid I will fail). It’s possible to change the lows to highs and truly believe you are worthwhile.
 

Self esteem is:

  • having a feeling of confidence and competence to function successfully in life and trusting oneself
  • approving and unconditionally loving yourself
  • the willingness to be foolish
  • being able to express one’s creativity and trusting in one’s intuition
  • being authentic and genuine so that one’s real self can be experienced
  • the ability to see oneself as the cause and source of one’s circumstances in life so that one may take responsibility for it.

Low self esteem

People with low self esteem often engage “negative self talk.” This involves repeating to yourself things that you think are “wrong” with you. These thoughts can be automatic, meaning you are so used to having them that they just come naturally.

Negative self talk is one of the biggest contributors to low self esteem or negative self image. Imagine that you are feeling pretty low one day when you walk into a room that you haven’t tidied up for a while. Your first automatic thought may be, “I’m so messy, what is wrong with me?” This in turn leads you to feel even worse, engage in even more negative self talk, and fall into a cycle that is a factor of depression.

Woman with high self esteem

How do we improve it?

It’s possible to interrupt this cycle. You can do this by making a conscious decision to stop any automatic, negative thoughts, and to replace them with positive ones. Whenever a negative thought pops into your mind, stop. Shake your head, and switch purposely to more positive self talk. It may be difficult to catch your negative thoughts, at first, but the more you do it, the better your thoughts will become.

Do how do we develop a good, positive self image?

How can we respond to all the negative self talk we have about ourselves, so it doesn’t affect us so much?
Look for the positives.

Think of three positive things about yourself; things that you are good at or of which you are proud. Make a list of them. If you can’t find three nice things about yourself, don’t give up. Imagine that being kind to yourself uses a certain part of your brain. If you haven’t been using that part for a while, then it needs to be exercised to strengthen it. Once you start using it, it becomes easier and easier, eventually leading towards automatic positive thoughts, instead of negative, and thus to a more positive self image.

Try asking someone you like to tell you three nice things about you. Keep asking until you have three positive images about yourself that you can refer to when you start feeling low. Make sure your brain cells get to hear about it. The more that you’re kind to yourself and repeat positive thoughts, the more likely they are to become automatic thoughts – which lead naturally to higher self esteem.

Self esteem, whether positive or negative, affects how you feel about yourself and that influences the way you behave. This in turn affects the way people see and act towards you.

When you have higher self esteem, your body language will convey more self confidence and acceptance. People around you will perceive this and respond more positively towards you, which, in turn, will make you feel more confident and good about yourself. So the cycle goes both ways.

If your self esteem is very low, it may take a while to see some improvement. Don’t expect overnight results.

More ways to improve your self-esteem

  • List all the things that you like about yourself
  • Respect other people’s thoughts and feelings
  • Frequently acknowledge others by telling them that you like and appreciate them; especially your family, friends and workmates
  • Think of ten things that you enjoy doing and do them frequently
  • Be more assertive; speak up for yourself. This can be done by asking for what you want as well as by expressing your thoughts and feelings
  • Experience the pleasure of deep breathing
  • Be self compassionate
  • Stand in front of a full length mirror naked and tell yourself “I love you” for 5 minutes (try it for half an hour and see what happens)
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. Be able to laugh with others, at life and yourself
  • Display your picture in the home
  • Acknowledge your successes and give yourself a pat on the back for your accomplishments
  • Start enhancing yourself by going to workshops and seminars. Invest money in yourself
  • Give yourself permission to be lazy and to do the things that you want to do at times
  • Be your own best lover by treating yourself lovingly, every chance you get
  • See the strength in the people you meet
  • Stop putting yourself down and being so critical of yourself, or at least don’t buy into those negative thoughts
  • Build a lifestyle that generates and nourishes your self worth
  • Wear clothes that you feel good in
  • Allow yourself to accept acknowledgement and compliments and don’t invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you
  • Stop comparing yourself with others; see yourself as being of equal worth
  • If you have a thought that starts with “I ought to, I need to, or I should,” change it to “I want to…”
  • Put integrity in your life; always be honest
  • Focus your attention on enjoying the present, rather than living in the past or future
  • Begin to see yourself as being self sufficient rather than needing relationships
  • Learn from your mistakes and see them as valuable lessons rather than feeling guilty about them
  • Replace your thoughts of being inferior and inadequate. Generate positive thoughts and feelings of love and acceptance
  • Stop blaming others for your life circumstances and give up the “victim” act. Begin to see yourself as the cause and source of what happens to you.

Foundations for building self esteem

The process of building self esteem is active and continues all of your life. Your esteem of yourself is the only esteem you really own. If someone else can give it to you, they can just as easily take it away.

Clarify values and priorities in your life. Are you living according to these values? Set some realistic goals to do so. Unrealistic values and goals cannot be achieved and result in a sense of failure, which leads to a decrease in self esteem.

Listen to different parts of your rational and emotional self (head and heart).

Don’t live in the past. What is the reality at present? Re-equate your self-worth with who you are today.

Be aware of self “put down” thoughts. When you are tempted to say negative things about yourself (and others), say “stop!” Replace self-accusing thoughts with positive reminders and supportive thoughts.

Accept compliments and think positively about yourself.

Acknowledge your achievements and good points.

Reward yourself from time to time.

Your happiness is principally your responsibility.

Allow time for self esteem to grow.

Aim for small, solid changes.

Still need help?

If you think that you could benefit with some counselling, please visit our Family Counselling Service page on our website. Our teams are able to service clients throughout Ipswich, Brisbane South, Brisbane North, Logan and the Gold Coast.

 

 

Self harm

Self harm is not an unusual or abnormal issue. About 25,000 Australians are admitted to hospital each year due to self harm. That’s around 118 people per 100,000 in Australia. That’s not an insignificant number, particularly considering that these are only the cases serious enough to warrant immediate medical attention.
 

Adults who self harm are 100 times more likely to suicide. Despite this, around 50% of people who use self harm report that they are not thinking about suicide, and many people who use self harm describe it as a way to avoid suicide.

There are many reasons people turn to self harm, although it’s usually linked to depression and anxiety. Some people report that it helps them to feel more in control. Others report they see it as a release, or as a way to feel something besides the numbness that often accompanies depression. Self harming does not always mean that you want to commit suicide, that you are “looking for attention,” or that you are being manipulative. In fact, it’s common for people who use self harm to not want to worry their loved ones, to go to great lengths to hide it, or to feel shame about it.

Often people who self harm do so as a way to cope with emotions and situations that seem otherwise too complex or difficult to deal with. Self harm is, therefore, seen as a coping strategy, one that’s used by someone who doesn’t know any more effective tools to cope with their pain, to put it into words, or to show express how deeply they hurt inside.

For someone to intentionally hurt themselves, regardless of the method, they must be suffering very deeply.

What is self harming?

There is no universal definition of self harm, as it’s a complex issue and one that affects everyone differently. One very simple way of defining it is:

A person deliberately causing him or herself physical pain as a means of managing difficult or painful emotions, or as a way of communicating their distress to others.

Most people think of cutting when they think of self harming. In reality, there are lots of behaviours that can be considered as self harm. Some of these are:

  • cutting with razors, knives or sharp objects
  • purposely overdosing on medication or alcohol, or consuming a toxic substance
  • burning or branding
  • scratching which results in bleeding or welts
  • picking at skin
  • pulling hair
  • hitting yourself with your fists, or a blunt object, hard enough to cause bruising
  • punching walls or objects to hurt yourself
  • engaging in risky behaviour likely to cause injury, such as dangerous driving.

If you’re not sure whether you’re self harming, or if you are worried about someone else’s behaviour, here are some questions you might want to ask:

  • do you deliberately hurt yourself in a way which breaks the skin, leaves marks that last for a while, or scars you?
  • do you deliberately do things to yourself for which you should go see your doctor?
  • do you hurt yourself as a way of getting rid of painful feelings, dealing with difficult situations, or because you feel numb?

These are questions you might like to think about. If you find yourself unsure or concerned about your responses to these questions, the best thing to do is talk to a health professional or someone you trust.

Self harm: young person sitting in dark alley way looking sad

Why do people self harm?

People hurt themselves because it’s the only thing they can think of doing to cope. Self harming can be a way of dealing with feelings of deep sadness, loss, depression, guilt, anger, hate, worthlessness, loss of control, fear, anxiety, low self esteem, loneliness, shame, and numbness – just to name a few.

Some reasons people self harm include:

  • feeling upset, angry or scared to a degree that seems unbearable
  • having the sense that painful thoughts or feelings are building up inside and cutting is the only way to let them out
  • feeling alone and isolated from everybody, and that hurting themselves is the only way they feel ‘real’ or ‘connected’
  • feeling out of control; that hurting themselves is the only way they can regain a sense of control
  • feeling overburdened, or responsible for everything and everyone
  • feeling numb, like the only thing they can feel is physical pain
  • it can make the pain they feel inside visible, and when it is visible, it seems easier to understand
  • feeling like others only care about them if something bad happens
  • feeling like everything is hopeless
  • feeling worthless or deserving of punishment. Self harm can be a way of punishing themselves, and sometimes others
  • feeling like there is no other option for dealing with everything
  • isolation and loneliness. Feeling alone, like they have no one to talk to, or not knowing how to talk, or safe to talk about it. 

Sometimes, people hurt themselves because it is the only thing they can think of doing to cope. Some people who self harm have experienced abuse or neglect from a young age. Others have experienced trauma, sexual abuse, or have repeatedly had their trust betrayed. Some have lost a loved family member, or have never felt loved in their lives. Many people who turn to self harm have never been taught helpful ways of coping, of trusting, or of how to connect with others, by those around them.

Everyone who uses self harm is experiencing a level of pain that seems unbearable. Sometimes this leads people to try to stop the emotional pain by hurting themselves physically.

However, not all people who self harm have been abused or experienced big losses. Some people hear that it has helped others, and turn to it themselves when they are at a loss for what else to do, and become caught in a cycle.

Usually, people who self harm have difficulty coping with and talking about their emotions. Sometimes they feel there is no one to talk to about these issues, that no one will listen or take them seriously, or that they will be judged or viewed as weak, crazy, or that they are just seeking attention. As a result, these emotions can build up to the point that they are simply too much to handle. Self harm can seem like the only thing that will relieve these feelings, even if it’s simply because you are then feeling something different. It’s important to understand that, whatever the reason you self harm, there are other ways of dealing with the way you feel. Support and other options are available, you are not alone, and you don’t need to go through this alone.

Why do people keep doing it?

Some people say that self harm helps takes away the emotional pain, and that this seems like the only way. The fact is, if something makes us feel better, then we tend to keep doing it. In this way, self harming is an addictive behaviour. Like a drug, self harming when you feel like you are not coping actually can make you feel better. It is a natural function of the human body to release pain relieving endorphins when physical pain is experienced, like dopamine. Many of the most addictive drugs simulate the effects of dopamine. The trouble is, we have a tolerance effect to dopamine: It can take more of the same behaviour to get the same result that we used to. This means that we not only continue the behaviour, we also need to increase the intensity of it to achieve the desired effects.

People understand that addictive drugs are extremely difficult to quit. However not many people understand that self harm acts in a similar way. If someone has been using self harm for a while, they experience the same very strong urges to use self harm that someone who is dependent on a drug experiences.

When people find hurting themselves brings relief, it can become their main coping strategy. Other strategies will not seem to work as well. The urge to self harm will still be there.

It is for these reasons that it is very important to remind yourself that self harming is just one way of dealing with things. When you are going through the process of trying to give it up, your mind may tell you that it is the only thing that it will help – because it wants that dopamine rush. However, just like giving up any addictive behaviour, if you can see that period of ‘withdrawal’ through, those urges will become less and less.

Some other reasons why people find it difficult to stop self harming include:

  • wondering what they will do to cope instead of self harming
  • wondering whether people will still show they care if they don’t see the cuts and scars
  • wondering whether people will still know that they are hurting if they don’t see any injuries
  • letting go of self harming can be like letting go of a familiar part of yourself. It can become a part of you. The person may have thoughts like, “who will I be if I don’t have this?”
  • worrying that they might get swallowed up by their feelings if they don’t self harm
  • concern that they might stay numb.

Some things to think about

You may be self harming and not be able to see the negative effects. Some consequences of self harming are:

  • you may accidentally or deliberately go too far one day and cause yourself a severe injury, or accidental suicide. Particularly if the self harm is escalating and you have to go further to feel the same relief
  • cuts often turn into scars. In some cases this may serve as an unhelpful reminder, or even a trigger, for many years
  • people who self harm usually keep it a secret. This can be a very lonely experience. Dealing with feelings in this way means you are probably not getting the support you need and deserve
  • you may be avoiding the issues that lead to you self harming. Expressing yourself in this way might not allow you to see the causes of your pain, and deal with them
  • you may have to lie. You might feel the need to deceive your friends and others about your injuries in order to protect those you care about. This can be yet another heavy burden on you – the last thing you need
  • you may feel guilty. People who self harm almost always feel guilt or shame about it. This means hiding the behaviour and blaming yourself for it. This creates yet more distress and pain, which leads to more self harm to cope.

How can I stop self harming?

Self harm is a way of trying to cope with inner pain. It is very difficult to stop self harming without having other ways to cope. Changing any behaviour is difficult. It is a decision ONLY YOU can make. Here are some different ways you can react when you feel like self harming. These won’t always be easy and will take lots of effort.

  • Decide that you want to stop self harming – making this decision is the first step
  • Consider all the reasons that you do genuinely want to stop. Connect these with values that are important to you. Write them down. Remind yourself of these when you feel the urge
  • Physical exercise can help – it is the best treatment for many mental health issues
  • Remove yourself from the present situation. Something as simple as getting away from the environment, or the presence of whatever it is you use to self harm, works for some people
  • Delay for 15 minutes. Do something to distract yourself from the urge. If this works, try another 15 minutes
  • Have something to do. Keeping yourself occupied can keep your mind off stress and not leave you time to think about self harming. Plan things to do to occupy your free time. Develop structure or a routine
  • Try to focus on something in the present moment rather than the pain you may be feeling. Do something that grounds you in the present moment and brings you out of your head. Go outside and look at the clouds, take a shower, watch some TV, read a book, go for a run, get on the internet, eat some food, drink a hot, fragrant drink
  • Make a list of friends or support people you can talk to or call when you feel you need to. These people should understand your situation and what you’re going through. Not all friends will be able to do this – most people find it difficult to understand why someone self harms. If your friends are having trouble understanding, you may need to talk to a professional
  • Try deep breathing and relaxation exercises. Deep breathing is a mindful activity, increases your oxygen supply, and can help you feel calm and relaxed. Deep breathing and relaxation exercises can also be good ways to stop you ruminating on unhelpful thoughts
  • Write a diary. Describe in factual, nonjudgmental detail how you feel, and what might have triggered these feelings. In this way you can be aware of what causes feelings distressing enough to warrant self harm, and what you might be able to do before escalate to this level next time
  • Make a list of alternative strategies that might help to express or ‘get the feelings out.’ Screaming into a pillow, flicking an elastic band on your wrist, drawing on your skin with a red pen, stream of consciousness writing, listening to music, expressing your feelings through art, yoga, going for a walk, and spending time with a pet are some examples
  • Call a support or crisis line if you feel that your self harm is becoming dangerous. See the list of helpful numbers below.

If you’re trying to stop, it’s important to understand that you may do it again. Don’t get down on yourself about this. Lapsing once does not mean you have relapsed back into a pattern. It can be an opportunity to examine what happened, and prepare further for next time. What’s important is that you don’t give up trying to stop, and that you get the support you need to help you through.

Why is it so hard to talk about?

Talking to people that you are close to about self harm can be terribly difficult. Many people who self harm are deeply concerned about how their family and friends will react. Some of the ways that people fear their loved ones might respond are:

  • becoming very worried about you and experiencing their own distress
  • not knowing what to do or say
  • questioning whether it is their fault and blaming themselves
  • telling you to stop, or making you promise you won’t do it again
  • dismissing it or trying to ignore it in the hope it will go away
  • getting frustrated or angry because they don’t understand
  • thinking that you are doing it for attention
  • judging you, thinking you are crazy
  • sending you away to a mental health facility
  • taking away your children.

Whatever you think the reaction might be, it is important you talk to someone about your self harming. Keeping it a secret will only serve to maintain the behaviour. There is then the risk of it escalating and leading to serious injury, infection, or worse.

Some ways of getting support from others:

  • when you talk to people about it, try to pick a place that is private where you can talk about it without additional pressures
  • make sure you and the other person have time to talk – try not to mention it on your way out the door
  • tell the person the things you are doing to try and stop harming yourself
  • be sensitive to those around you. Self harming may make sense to you but to the people around you it may seem frightening and difficult to understand.

Whatever you think the reaction might be, it is important you talk to someone about your self harming. It is never going to be easy talking with other people about your self harm. Remember, you are in control of how and what they find out.

How you can help someone who is self-harming

Finding out that someone you care about is hurting them self is tough. Many people can’t understand why someone would want to hurt themselves. It can be hard not to take it personally, and it’s a natural response to want to convince the person to stop.

Below are some tips for helping someone who you believe is hurting them self.

  • Seek the support of a health professional – Self harm is a complex behaviour that may go on for a long time. It is important that you have the support and advice of a health professional
  • Don’t take it personally – When people self harm, they don’t do it to intentionally make you feel bad or guilty. Even if it feels like they are trying to manipulate you, that may not be the reason they self harm
  • Make a plan – If you’re able to, sit down with the person and figure out what can be done if they feel the urge to self harm, or if they have self harmed. This can make things feel safer for you both. It may also reduce the ‘secrecy’ around the self harming and make the person feel supported. If in doubt, talk to a health professional
  • Be supportive and remain calm – Often, people react by making a big fuss about the self harm and become upset, angry or both. This can make the situation worse, as the person is already trying to cope with their own emotions. They may then self harm in secret because they fear your reaction. In a calm voice, ask the person if they want to talk – this leaves the control of this in their hands
  • Make the initial approach but don’t push them
  • Being supportive doesn’t mean you’re saying the behaviour is okay– it’s saying that you want to be there for the person to help them. You might start by saying, “People hurt themselves when they are feeling overwhelmed. Do you want to talk to me about it?”
  • While remaining calm, try to understand why the person is self harming. Some people feel sick at the thought that someone they know is hurting themselves. Try to understand what the issues behind the self harm are, and how you can support that person to find different ways of coping
  • Don’t tell them not to do it. A normal reaction to self harm is to tell the person not to do it, or that it makes you feel bad. This often leads to the person feeling shame or guilt. A likely response to this is that they then start to hide their self harming behaviours from you
  • Take care of yourself. This is really difficult! You will need time to adjust. Make sure you are taking care of your own needs, as well as those of the person you care about. The more you are able to relax, the easier it will be to deal with everything else
  • Be clear about what your limits are. Most people feel completely out of their depth when it comes to self harm. It’s okay if you feel uncomfortable with it, and it’s okay if you don’t feel able to talk about it. Let the person know this, and together seek out the assistance of a health professional such as a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor.

Looking forward

When everything seems too big to handle and you can’t see a way out, it can be hard to think about your future. When you feel this way there are some things you can think about:

  • the people that you most look up to have probably gone through a really difficult time in their life – it does end
  • the problems that seem unsolvable will change
  • life is always changing
  • feeling bad doesn’t last forever – it only lasts as long as we think about it
  • if you went to live on another planet, there would be at least one person who would be sad to see you go
  • there are people who want to hear what you’ve got to say. There are people who understand. There are people who want to help you stop self harming.

Self harming stops you from dealing with the reasons for your pain. There are other ways to deal with how you feel that don’t cause harm to yourself. The first step is to reach out and talk to someone and see the future you have ahead of you.

Resources

Lifeline Australia
Phone: 131 114
Live chat: https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat

Kids Helpline
Phone: 1800 551 800
Website: www.kidshelp.com.au

Your general practitioner (doctor)
Your local community or health service
The Emergency Department of your local hospital

Beyond Blue
Support line: 1300 224 636
Website: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/self-harm-and-self-injury

A plan to stop self harming

Below is a plan that you can put together if you want to try to stop self harming. Write the following headings in a journal, and fill in your answers. Keep the journal somewhere safe.

Who are the people I can talk to if I feel like self harming?

What are the things that usually trigger self harm for me?
Think about the reasons you self harm or the things you have trouble coping with? This will help you to know when you are most likely to self harm and try to prevent yourself from doing so.

What can I do to try to stop self harming if I feel like doing it?

What are some other things I can do, if I feel like I’m not coping, instead of self harming?

Make sure you reward yourself for your efforts trying to stop self harming. Other people may not notice but it is important you do.

Changing is never easy, so be proud of the effort you make.

Adapted from Self Harm: An information booklet for young people who self harm & those who care for them. Text © The State of Queensland (Queensland Health) 2006

 
 
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Sleep and insomnia

In this article we explore sleep and insomnia. Sleeping problems and insomnia can affect people’s wellbeing. Keep reading to learn more strategies to improve your sleep and overall wellbeing.
 
Do you find that you?
 
  • Can’t switch off?
  • Feel drowsy, lethargic or even fall asleep during the day?
  • Often feel agitated or irritable?
  • Feel tired, or get told that you look tired?
  • Have trouble controlling your emotions?

Why is sleep important?

Sleep is an essential active and involuntary process. You will fall asleep at some stage, whether you want to or not, simply because your body needs it. It’s fundamental to your wellbeing.

While you sleep your brain is actually very busy. It organises and processes memories, information, feelings and events. It picks up, filters and files them away. This is not only important for things like consolidating memories, but also connecting new insights and creative ideas. Hence, sleep is essential to our resilience and our capacity to recover and carry on.

Sleep has been likened to a dishwasher for the brain, sweeping away toxins in the night. Lack of sleep can lead to poor health, both mental and physical. When our physical or mental health is affected, this can in turn lead to further lack of capacity to sleep. It can become a vicious cycle.

It’s important not to compromise. Our sleep provides us with the ability to function effectively and to control mood, performance and relationships.

Sleep and insomnia: woman experiencing trouble with sleep

How much sleep should we have?

All animals have sleep patterns. Some sleep most of the time, others very little of the time.

Humans have become used to sleeping at night. Essentially, we are daylight creatures. This is why shift work can cause stress for some people.

The actual time of sleep needed, each day, varies for everyone. There is no hard and fast answer. Some people need just 5 hours a night, others need 10.

Research has found, that on average, an adult human being needs between 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Older adults need between 6-7 hours of sleep a night, and children need at least 9 hours. This can be shortened if it’s replaced by short naps during the day.

How do I know if I’m sleeping enough?

You may not be getting enough sleep if you:

  • feel irritable or agitated most days
  • find yourself drinking or needing more coffee/caffeine
  • have difficulty staying awake when you sit still, watch television or read
  • have difficulty concentrating of focusing your attention
  • have lapses in memory, or find yourself learning things slower than usual
  • seem to react more slowly
  • have trouble controlling emotional outbursts
  • find yourself becoming angry, upset, teary or anxious more easily.

Any of these symptoms could be an indication that you’re not getting enough sleep.

What are some common problems?

Having a problem sleeping for one or two consecutive nights is not usually a major issue. The body is likely to catch up on sleep the next time around.

However, if your difficulty sleeping continues, the problem may be insomnia. Depression and anxiety can be common causes of insomnia. Typically, it’s thought that difficulty falling asleep is linked to anxiety or stress. However, difficulty staying asleep (e.g. waking in the early hours of the morning) is related to depression. If you are experiencing stress in your life, in a significant way, this can certainly lead to insomnia, and the vicious cycle that was described above. You can find out more about helping with depression, stress and anxiety on this website.

Oversleeping can also occur as a result of depression. You may find that you have no incentive to actually get up at a reasonable time in the morning. The problem is, oversleeping can be just as unhealthy for you as under-sleeping, and has been linked to physical health problems such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

Nightmares can occur, usually in the early morning. They are probably linked to frightening or difficult experiences during the day and may also be linked to past trauma or ongoing problems. Hence there can be a link between nightmares and anxiety when these are recurring phenomena.

There are other disorders such as sleep apnea. This is a disorder in which your breathing temporarily stops during sleep due to a blockage of the upper airways. This can be a dangerous physical problem and does need to be addressed with your GP.

Most people know when they are ‘not sleeping well’ and if this problem persists then it’s time to try something new, or even seek help. 

What can I do?

There are numerous things that you can do to adjust the way you live and the way you sleep.

Significant consumption of caffeine, alcohol and nicotine all impair your capacity to sleep. If you’re experiencing difficulty sleeping, try cutting these back or (if you can) avoiding them entirely.

Caffeine, for instance, takes a long time to break down in the body. If you drink coffee before attempting to sleep, you’ll struggle to sleep. It might be an idea to try cutting off your caffeine intake at about 2pm, to see if this has any effect on your ability to sleep. Try this technique for two weeks and see how you go.

Alcohol, while people often say it helps them get to sleep, is linked to restless light sleep, and frequent waking. Further, alcohol is a diuretic and consuming it before going to sleep will probably result in waking during the night to use the toilet.

Medication

Medication can help on a short term basis and sleeping pills (even over the counter ones) are best used for a short time, only. Their use should be carefully monitored and only taken in consultation with your doctor. There can be a range of side effects to their use and their long term use is not recommended. They can be useful, however, to get your sleeping patterns back on track.

Psychological help

This revolves around reprogramming your thought processes. You can have unhelpful thought processes about sleep that leads to clock watching and a restless night.

For instance:

Unhelpful thought process    More helpful thought process
ugh, I’m not sleeping! I am not sleeping at the moment.
I can’t ever seem to get to sleep. What’s wrong with me? Most nights I can go to sleep, eventually, if I am patient.
I’m just no good at sleeping, others always seem to be able to sleep so easily. What might help me right now? OK, I will get up have a drink of water, and perhaps read for a while because I usually feel sleepy after that.
Result – prolonged lack of sleep. Result – sleep comes naturally and without being forced.

Sleep hygiene

Sleep hygiene is having a routine and practising behaviours that encourage sleep, and avoiding things that are likely to keep you awake.

For example, make the hour before bedtime a time for winding-down. Avoid anxiety provoking activities such as working or thinking about work, listening to or reading the news, or talking with someone who tends to stress you out. Try to end the day with relaxing thoughts and activities.

Don’t look at bright screens leading up to bedtime, as this can confuse your body clock. Keep the lights dim as bedtime approaches. If you do get up in the night, don’t switch on the overhead lights. Use a torch to go to the bathroom, or a table lamp to read.

Try to keep the bed just for sleeping and sex, i.e. not for watching TV or reading, so that your body associates bed with rest.

Keep your daytime naps to under half an hour, so you don’t throw out your next night’s sleep. A twenty minute nap can be very helpful, but any longer can throw you out of schedule.

Do your exercise in the morning, never before bed. Otherwise your increased heart rate and adrenaline will take a while to settled back down, and will definitely keep you up.

Finish eating or snacking a good few hours before you go to bed also, as your digestive system can also keep you awake.

Breathing exercises as insomnia strategies

Your breath is the key to relaxing so you can fall asleep.

Focus your attention on your breath, feel your breath as you breathe in and then as you exhale. Do not try to control your breathing. Just feel the air moving in and out and notice where you feel it. You may feel air moving in and out through your nostrils. Or you may be aware of the air filling your chest or your diaphragm or your stomach. Whatever you notice is completely acceptable. There’s no right or wrong way to do this exercise.

Continue to focus your attention on your breathing, until you fall asleep. You’ll have to continually bring your attention back to the breath when you become distracted by thoughts — because you will, perhaps as often as every single minute. This is normal, just keep refocusing on your breath, as many times as it takes.

Watching your breath serves two important purposes

  • Focusing on your breathing is very relaxing. When nervous, many people hold their breath, or breathe shallowly. This habit creates additional tension. By observing your breath, you release the effort to control it. When you stop controlling your breath, your body takes over and your breathing naturally becomes deeper, fuller and more relaxed
  • Your attention is on your breath. This activity occupies your mind and there is no room for worrisome thoughts. If these thoughts do intrude, acknowledge them, then let them pass. Don’t follow them, don’t get frustrated by them, just gently turn your attention back to your breathing.

Other insomnia strategies

Any mindfulness exercise can be an effective relaxation or insomnia strategy, although that isn’t necessarily the sole purpose of mindfulness. We have an example mindfulness activity available here: Mindfulness meditation: Who are you?

Where can I get help?

  • Visit a General Practitioner – they can help refer you to a specialist.
  • See a Psychologist – you can find these through your GP (and get a Medicare rebate) or the Australian Psychological Society (APS). 
  • See a Counsellor or Psychotherapist – Anglicare Southern Queensland offers counselling, so if you need any further assistance or support, please get in touch.

Stress

Stress is a term that, over time, has become difficult to define. Low and short-term levels of stress can be healthy as they can help motivate change and growth. Though, stress is commonly associated with re-occurring and long-term levels of pervasive feelings of anxiety and tension.
 

When feelings of stress stick around for periods of time, it can negatively impact your emotional and physical wellbeing. Unmanaged stress has been linked to a wide range of mental and physical illnesses and disorders. 

What causes stress?  

Well, it’s highly individual. Stress is a type of strain on the body, in response to triggering agents, and these agents are often called “stressors.” Stressors can be external or internal.  

External factors that may cause stress include your job, your relationships with others, and your physical environment. It’s all the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations you’re confronted with daily.  

Internal factors determine your body’s ability to cope with these external stressors. This includes your diet and nutrition, your overall health and fitness, your mental and emotional well-being, and the amount of rest you get. 

The information in this section will help you identify potential warning signs that you’re under stress and includes suggestions for stress management and reducing the harm that stress can cause. 

Stressed man with head in hands

Warning signs 

The list below is an example of what people often experience when they are under too much stress. 

Cognitive symptoms of stress 

  • Memory problems 
  • Difficulty concentrating 
  • Trouble making decisions 
  • Short attention span 
  • Seeing only the negative side of things 
  • Anxious, circling or racing thoughts 
  • Constant worrying 
  • Predicting the worst.

Emotional symptoms of stress 

  • Moodiness and mood swings 
  • Irritability, impatience or short temper 
  • Agitation, snappishness and being easily annoyed 
  • Inability to relax. Feeling guilty when you do take time to relax 
  • Feeling overwhelmed or always rushed 
  • Sense of isolation or aloneness 
  • Sense of hopelessness, of never catching up 
  • Depression or general unhappiness. 

Physical symptoms of stress 

  • Aches and pains 
  • Tense muscles, especially in the shoulders and neck 
  • Grinding or clenching teeth 
  • Diarrhoea or constipation 
  • Nausea, unsettled tummy 
  • Dizziness or light-headedness 
  • Fatigue, feeling worn out or run down 
  • Increased heartbeat and breathing rate 
  • Loss of sex drive 
  • Frequent colds or infections
  • Skin problems (e.g. acne, rashes).

Behavioural symptoms of stress 

  • Eating more or less 
  • Sleeping more or less (especially difficulty getting to sleep) 
  • Isolating yourself from others 
  • Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities 
  • Increased use of alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax 
  • Nervous habits (e.g. fidgeting, nail biting, pacing) 
  • Calling in sick at work. 

Occasionally experiencing a few of the above symptoms is not cause for concern. Short-term stress or nervousness is completely normal from time to time; it’s a fact of life. However, if you’re experiencing these symptoms, it may mean you’re under more stress than you think. The same is true if they have been going on for a while or are quite out of character. 

If you’re experiencing the above listed symptoms, it might indicate stress. This isn’t necessarily bad; it might prompt you to act.  

Ineffective coping strategies 

When we’re facing problems that seem too difficult, never-ending, or overwhelming, we often fall back on ineffective coping strategies. These are things that may temporarily make us feel better, or buy a bit more time, but they rarely solve the problem. They’re often a form of avoidance that serves to prolong or worsen the problem. 

Examples of ineffective coping strategies are: 

  • Procrastination – putting off having to deal with something that just seems too much for you in the moment 
  • Denial – pretending or acting like everything is fine, when evidence indicates otherwise 
  • Consuming alcohol, mood altering drugs or overeating. 
  • Complaining – this can seem like an unburdening of your problems but is often not constructive 
  • Attending to other problems or goals that are not as urgent or important as the ones being avoided 
  • Burying yourself in other activities such as work, hobbies and other distractions
  • Other avoidance strategies.

By delaying or not addressing the issue at hand, the stressor could become worse. When you’re facing stressors that seem impossible to overcome, it’s important to find effective self-care strategies. These strategies can help relax you and prepare you for some problem solving. Examples of positive coping strategies are listed below. 

Coping strategies for stress management 

  • Take a break and clear your mind, i.e., going for a walk
  • Practice breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and meditation relaxation techniques
  • Engage socially with friends or family. If you can’t, try meeting new people or finding an interest or support group 
  • Get regular exercise and aim to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day 
  • Give up smoking (if you’re a smoker). Nicotine withdrawal will make you feel more stressed and when you smoke, you’re only temporarily relieving stress
  • Talk to someone. It can be helpful to share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust 
  • Speak with a professional
  • Write your challenges in a journal
  • Get enough sleep to regenerate your mind and body. Also try not to rely on sleeping pills
  • Nourish your spiritual side. Religion, beauty, nature, science and even painful life experiences have been used by people to deepen their sense of spirituality and meaning 
  • Take each day as it comes and be present in the moment 
  • Make time, each day, for worrying. Give yourself however much time you need, and let your mind go there for that time and go back to what you were doing 
  • Practice action or acceptance
  • Get a massage to relax your body and mind 
  • Apply a heat bag or have a warm shower as heat can often relax you 
  • Get good nutrition. Eat foods with vitamins and minerals that will make your body stronger and healthy
  • Delegate responsibilities. It’s okay to ask for help if you need it. It’s also okay to say no 
  • Engage in hobbies and activities that you value. Try to use these as a reward for having achieved something a bit less pleasant 
  • Set SMART goals. Break bigger ones down into smaller, more achievable, multi-step goals. 

Self-care 

Engaging in good self-care is the first step to overcoming and preventing high levels of stress. But what exactly is self-care? Read more about self care in high stress situations. 

Still need help? 

If you think that you, your partner, or family could do with some support from our team, visit our Family Counselling page. We provide a range of programs to support you with a range of challenges that you could be facing. 
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  • How to look after your mental health during the holidays

How to look after your mental health during the holidays

The holiday season can be an emotional time for individuals and families. People report that their mental health typically worsens during this time of the year. Therefore, it’s important to manage factors that could cause you stress and find ways to improve your wellbeing.  

Factors that contribute to poor mental wellbeing

Several factors can contribute to problematic mental health concerns during the holiday season and it’s important to understand what triggers those concerns so that you can reduce your exposure to them. 

Family conflict

It’s not uncommon for arguments and disagreements to arise between family members during the holiday season. If family conflict is likely to cause you distress, measures can be taken to avoid this, including; setting boundaries, asking respectful questions to understand another person’s point of view, taking regular breaks and not drinking – especially if fights are typically fuelled by alcohol.  

Commercialisation

Often, people get caught up in the over-commercialisation of Christmas and the New Year and lose sense of what the period is about. Instead of focusing on the monetary impact, take the time to enjoy moments spent with loved ones. 

People-pleasing

If you’re someone who spends too much time accommodating the needs of others, it’s important that you learn to be assertive and put your own needs first. This habit can be curbed by setting healthy boundaries and allocating time to yourself. 

Financial concerns

One of the most important things to remember during the holiday season is to live below your means. It’s not necessary to spend more than you can afford to on gifts, decorations and holidays. By budgeting, you can significantly reduce financial stress. 

Exhaustion 

People tend to feel more exhausted at the end of the year. So, make sure to set some time for yourself by relaxing and focussing on your own wellbeing so that you can start the New Year the right way. 

Breaking healthy habits

It’s normal for people to break healthy habits over the holiday period. It’s a time of year to enjoy the things that make us happy. 

Grief

If you’re missing someone who’s no longer with you, remember that it’s okay to feel emotional. To overcome feelings of grief, you could take the time to honour their memory.  

Being away from friends and family

One of the biggest factors that can contribute to poor mental wellbeing during the holiday season is loneliness. There are several ways to overcome this, including; connecting with loved ones (even if you’re separated by distance), volunteering, attending community events and making plans. Anglicare Southern Queensland encourages the community to get involved by volunteering and spending time with the aged, who often don’t have a lot of family visit them at Christmas. Learn more about our volunteering opportunities, here. 

People volunteering at a homelessness shelter at Christmas as a way to improve their mental health.

Mental wellness tips and self-care

In the lead up to Christmas, we spoke with some of our counsellors to understand what their favourite tips are for people and families who want to improve their mental wellbeing and start their New Year on a positive note. Here’s what they shared: 

  • go to a local community or church Christmas show 
  • cook or bake some of your favourite holiday foods 
  • put up decorations and get creative 
  • watch your alcohol intake 
  • perform acts of kindness (I.e., cook for an elderly neighbour, donate to homelessness and animal shelters or call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while) 
  • practice gratitude 
  • avoid known triggers 
  • be realistic and set realistic goals 
  • plan ahead 
  • take time for yourself 
  • turn off your phone and devices for less interruptions 
  • share the load so that you don’t end up doing everything 
  • talk to a friend or someone you trust about how you feel 
  • spend time with friends who may also be spending time away from their family over the holidays 
  • only focus on the things that are in your control. 

More tips for maintaining good mental health

Above all else, the most important thing to remember is that it’s okay to seek help or someone to talk to. You aren’t alone and there is always someone available to talk to.  

If you require emergency support, please call 000 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. Lifeline is a free crisis and emergency support service that’s available 24/7.   

Alternatively, if you require less urgent assistance, you may wish to seek assistance from a GP, who can point you in the direction of professional mental health services and provide you with access to referral partners.   

Anglicare Southern Queensland provides a variety of social services to individuals, couples, children, young people and families who are experiencing challenging and vulnerable times. Learn more about our counselling services by clicking here.

Don't forget to ask R U OK?

R U OK?

R U OK? Day; is a yearly campaign to remind us about the importance of talking about our challenges and asking others if they’re okay. Designed by the R U OK? organisation, the day encourages people to stay connected and have conversations about their challenges.  

We are encouraged to be aware of the emotional wellbeing of others all the time, but R U OK? Day brings it to the forefront. If you notice that someone seems to be struggling, don’t be afraid to start a conversation and encourage them to seek professional support. These simple acts of kindness could be lifesaving.  

Anglicare Southern Queensland is dedicated to improving the mental health and wellbeing of Queenslanders. As an organisation that offers numerous counselling and social support services, we encourage everyone to be extra mindful of the emotions and behaviours of their friends, families, colleagues and strangers.  

Signs to look out for

Whether it’s yourself or someone else, there are several signs that may indicate that someone is struggling. However, some people might be dealing with challenges and strong emotions while displaying no signs of distress. It is for this reason that it’s so important to regularly check in with people.  

Someone who might be struggling could show signs of of:  

  • confusion and lack of concentration
  • extreme mood changes
  • wanting to avoid spending time with family and friends, or engaging in social activities
  • disinterest in activities they previously enjoyed
  • a higher need to consume alcohol and/or other drugs  
  • changes in eating habits (including decreased appetite)  
  • an inability to carry out daily tasks 
  • changes in school or work performance
  • sleeping problems
  • increased worry and fear
  • suicidal thoughts.  

How to ask someone R U OK?

There are many ways to ask somebody if they are okay. According to the R U OK? organisation, it’s important to approach people in a relaxed, friendly, and concerned manner. Asking simple questions like “how are you going?” or “what’s been happening?” can help initiate a conversation.   

If people don’t want to talk, it’s crucial not to criticise them. Instead, you might want to let them know that you’re concerned and let them know that you’re there for them.  

Our counselling services  

Anglicare Southern Queensland offers counselling services for families, couples, adults and children. Our compassionate approach and person-centred care allows us to tailor our programs to suit the needs of each client.   

Our counselling services are designed to support people who may be experiencing a broad range of challenges. They include:  

Family Counselling Service

This counselling service for adults, couples, families, children and young people, is designed to improve family relationships and wellbeing by providing tools, resources and advice on concerns that are impacting them.  

Specialised Family Violence Service

This service assists vulnerable families affected by domestic and family violence within a child-focussed framework.  

Living Without Violence  

This group program is designed for men who have used violence and abuse against their partners, children or other family members. It assists them to cease these behaviours and create safety, respect and equal partnership in their relationships.  

AMEND

Assisting Mothers to End the Need for Drugs is a voluntary home-based relapse prevention and parenting program for pregnant and parenting women.  

Drug Diversion Programs

These programs provide assessment and education sessions to clients who are diverted by the courts or police, for minor drug offences. We also provide a program for self-referred clients who are wanting to manage their use of alcohol or other drugs. 

For support

For more information on Anglicare Southern Queensland’s counselling services, contact our intake line on 1300 610 610.   

If you’re concerned about your own wellbeing or the wellbeing of someone else, please contact the Queensland Mental Health Access Line on 1300 642 255; or for urgent, or 24-hour support, please call 000 or contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.   

You are not alone. 
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  • Alcohol awareness and intervention

Alcohol awareness and intervention

In this article, we will explore the importance of alcohol awareness and intervention.

Just like tobacco and other drugs, alcohol can contribute to illnesses, diseases and death in Australia. A 2018 study by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare stated that “alcohol was the fifth highest risk factor contributing to the burden of disease in Australia.” 

Alcohol Awareness Week coincides with the Dry July campaign. These campaigns signify the detrimental impact that alcohol consumption can have on individuals and their communities. 

Alcohol awareness: the nature of drinking in Australia

Australians are renowned for their drinking culture. Numerous studies have aimed to identify how consumption affects the health, social and behavioural outcomes of Australians. Listed below are some recent key findings. 

  • 1,559 alcohol-induced deaths were reported in 2021 
  • Alcohol was the most common drug that clients sought treatment services for in 2021-22 
  • 3-in-5 drug-related hospitalisations in 2020-21 were attributed to alcohol use 
  • 1-in-4 Australian adults exceeded the alcohol guideline in 2020-21 

Alcohol Awareness: Person sitting at a bar with an empty shot glass in front of them

Adverse health outcomes associated with excessive alcohol consumption

Alcohol consumption, especially in excess quantities, can lead to significant health issues. Some of the short-term effects that it can cause includes injury, violence and accidental death. In addition, some of the long-term risks associated with ongoing use includes cancer, brain damage, memory loss, sexual dysfunction and cirrhosis of the liver. Therefore, it’s especially important to manage your consumption of alcohol to reduce these risks. 

Anglicare Southern Queensland’s alcohol awareness and intervention services

As a health and social community provider, we understand the importance of accessibility to intervention, prevention and counselling services to enhance the wellbeing of individuals and communities. At Anglicare, we provide alcohol and other drug (AOD) programs to clients needing support. 

In our programs, clients learn techniques to cope with their cravings and triggers. This can also help to prevent their risk of relapse. Additionally, our clients are given tools and strategies to minimise the risk of harm associated with AOD use. 

AMEND – Assisting Mothers to End the Need for Drugs

AMEND is a voluntary, home-based relapse prevention and parenting enhancement program for pregnant and parenting women. In this program we support women experiencing AOD related problems and co-existing mental health concerns. 

Click here to learn more about our AMEND program. 

Drug Diversion Programs

We provide several drug diversion programs for clients experiencing moderate to severe substance challenges. These programs are voluntary and court appointed.

Through our drug diversion programs, we help people take control of their substance use and move towards a healthier future.

Learn more about these programs here.

How our programs benefit clients

Our AOD programs are extremely beneficial for clients. They support them to reduce their risk of adverse health effects associated with alcohol, and improve their mental wellbeing and life outcomes. 

Some of the clients who’ve completed our programs have been successful in working towards managing, reducing, and abstaining from substance use. Some have reported a sense of stability in their day-to-day lives and are now actively engaging in employment or educational opportunities. Clients have also reported improvements in personal relationships and feeling more connected to their communities. 

Community benefits of alcohol intervention services

Our alcohol support programs have significant community benefits. By working with people experiencing concerns with alcohol (and/or other drugs) use, we can help to reduce associated risks within the community. Furthermore, clients who are actively engaged in counselling may be less likely to frequently present at hospitals and emergency departments. This alleviates economic and serviceability pressures on healthcare and justice systems. 

We recommend that you watch the video, below, to learn more about alcohol awareness and intervention from our counsellors. 

What to do if you or someone else needs help

In conclusion, if you think that you need help to manage your substance use, you can contact the Anglicare Southern Queensland intake line for an assessment on 1300 114 397. 
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  • Get on top of your health this Men’s Health Week

Get on top of your health this Men's Health Week

Today is the beginning of Men’s Health Week. Each year, during this week, we’re encouraged to highlight the importance of men’s health and promote improved wellbeing outcomes for men (and boys) globally. 

There are many areas of health; physical health, mental health and emotional wellbeing. Men’s Health Week is designed to provoke discussion and encourage men to take control of their own health outcomes. It reiterates the importance of early detection, prevention and treatment of diseases that are harmful to males.  

Health amongst Australian men

Compared to women, men are more likely to develop a serious illness. They also tend to have a higher mortality rate and are less likely to present to their doctor. When they do, it’s typically when their illness has advanced. 

During Men’s Health Week, it’s important to understand which groups of men are at higher risk of experiencing a shorter life expectancy. They generally include Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander men, migrant men, men who live in remote or rural regions, incarcerated men, men with disabilities, men who are socially disadvantaged, and those from LGBTQIA+ communities. 

The top causes of premature death amongst men are the following: 

  1. Ischaemic heart disease 
  2. Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease 
  3. Trachea and lung cancer 
  4. Cerebrovascular disease (medical conditions that affect the blood flow in the brain) 
  5. Chronic lower respiratory diseases 
  6. Prostate cancer 
  7. Blood and lymph cancer (including leukaemia)  
  8. Diabetes 
  9. Colon and rectum cancer 
  10. Suicide.  

**Note: this list of leading illnesses that lead to common deaths in Australian men has been ordered from highest to lowest 

Men’s mental health and wellbeing

One-in-eight and one-in-five Australian men will experience depression and anxiety, respectively, at any given stage in their life. Notably, they’re four times more likely to die from suicide than women. Research shows that two thirds of men who are in crisis don’t feel confident or empowered to speak up about their mental health concerns.   

Men's Health Week: 5 young men posing for picture

OnTrack was a 2022 Youth in Charge campaign encouraging young people to speak out about things that were holding them back.

It’s important that they can feel confident to reach out and discuss their feelings or experiences. As a society, we need to change our narrative around men being able to seek help and encourage them to feel safe and supported to do so. If you or another male figure in your life are experiencing any of the following, make sure to reach out or ask them if they are okay. 

  • Issues with health and wellbeing  
  • Disinterest in things that were previously enjoyable 
  • Are more withdrawn 
  • Are confused, irrational or moody 
  • Are experiencing changes personally or professionally. 

Isolation can also contribute to negative health outcomes for men. Getting out, socialising and meeting new people creates positive health outcomes. As part of some of respite centre services, our teams organise men’s groups to meet up, relax and just enjoy the day together.  

Men's Health Week: A street musician performing at one of our recent Men’s Group outings on the Gold Coast.

A street musician performing at one of our recent Men’s Group outings on the Gold Coast.

Anglicare mental health services to support men

Our organisation is doing our part to empower men to lead their own positive health outcomes. Anglicare offers various services and programs to support men. They’re designed to improve their relationships, provide them with family support, and assist their general mental and emotional wellbeing.

Some of the support services we offer men include family counselling, support with separation, and parenting programs.

Our organisation also provides court-appointed counselling to men with drug and alcohol dependency. Additionally, we provide intervention services for men with aggression and those who use violence against their family/intimate partner. These programs are designed to help them cease abusive and violent behaviours and create safe and respectful relationships.

To learn more about our wellbeing services for men, click here.

Staying healthy

This Men’s Health Week, take the time to evaluate your own health and understand habits and behaviours that could lead to negative health consequences. Use this opportunity to speak up about any health-related concerns that you may have with a professional.

By creating healthy habits from an early age and following them daily, you can prevent harmful diseases, which can often lead to early mortality. Ways that you can establish healthy habits include having a healthy work/life balance, eating well and exercising, talking about feelings, checking in on those around you and engaging in regular health check-ups/screenings for early detection of diseases.
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  • NRL legend has a tough conversation about mental health

NRL legend has a tough conversation about mental health

Petero Civoniceva, is known as being one of the toughest players in NRL. But, it’s the hits he’s taken off the field that have been the greatest test. In 2022, Petero had a conversation about mental health with our counsellor Rees. 

“On the field you have a team of experts to help you play to your potential. One thing I’ve learnt is that you don’t have to be alone off the field either. It can be as simple as letting a mate know that you’re doing it tough, but for blokes, we often wait until it’s too late to lean on others,” he said.   

Petero’s experiences

At just 13, he suddenly became the ‘man of the house’ as he watched his dad walk out on his mum and younger sisters, leaving them broke financially and emotionally. Petero said goodbye to his childhood at that moment.  

“It changed me, I had to step up and help mum out as much as I could,” he said.   

Growing up fast made him tough and driven. Now, as a father-of-four, Petero has a steely resolve to not let history repeat.  

“I watched my dad leave us. My mum, sisters and I struggled to recover from this. I knew that I never wanted my own kids to struggle like I did. All families and relationships go through rough patches. I knew that I needed to have a different plan if I wanted to have a different story from my own childhood,” he said.   

Famous for making big hits when it counted, Petero brought brute strength to every game he played. His presence on-field would fill his opponents with a cold fear knowing that the next 80 minutes would be a tough defensive game. He was one of the best in the game for hit ups, never tiring, and always serving it up in a sportsmanlike manner.  

The importance of having conversations about mental health

At home, he takes a softer approach to protecting his family. The impact that is parents’ relationship breakdown had on him and his siblings is his motivation to do good for his family. 

When you’re hitting it up into the challenges of life and it gets tough, always look for support. It could be a family member, a friend, a counsellor – help is always close by.  

Everyday life is full of big hits, often out of our control – whether it’s the pandemic, financial issues, losses, work, relationships, isolation, or loneliness. They all hit differently, and they can hit really hard. The challenge is to not go it alone.  

Seeking help can be a stretch out of your comfort zone. Though, it can be as simple as letting a mate know that you’re doing it tough, through to seeking some extra support through counselling. There’s a team around you to help with whatever life is throwing at you.  

In conclusion

If you need support or want to have a conversation about your mental health, we provide professional, confidential and free counselling services. Taking the first step is often the hardest but our team is on your side and here to help. For more information and to take the first step, click here. 

For crisis support please call triple zero or contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.   

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