Everyone has different thinking patterns. Often, we don’t stop to think about our thoughts and whether they’re accurate, appropriate or helpful. Some of the ways that we think about things can be unhelpful (whether they’re accurate or not).
What you think about something tends to be based on emotion rather than facts. This is an example of what is often an unhelpful thinking pattern.
For instance, you could make an error at work and when your manager brings it to your attention you might feel embarrassed or ashamed and ask yourself “how could I be so stupid.” By thinking like this, you might start to feel worse about yourself causing you to wake up the next morning and realising how stressed and tired you are. You then might think to yourself. “I don’t ordinarily make that mistake. I think I was tired and not at my best when I did that.”
It’s not uncommon for your frame of mind to change and the way you perceive an event.
Thoughts lead to feelings
Events and situations don’t make you feel anything. However, the way you think about them, and the feelings associated with those thoughts do.
Thoughts, judgments, beliefs and interpretations are factors that contribute to feelings. People can interpret matters in several ways. If you notice that you’re feeling upset, consider looking carefully at how you’re thinking about a situation and try to interpret it differently.
Unhelpful thinking patterns
If you’re having thoughts that cause you to feel worse about a situation, this is an unhelpful thinking pattern. When you notice yourself feeling rotten about something, it can be useful to take a step back from your thoughts, to look at them and ask yourself whether it’s true or helpful. Then try to consider a more helpful way of thinking about the situation.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter if the thing that you’re thinking about is true or not. It’s important to consider whether it’s helpful for you to focus your time and energy on it. If it’s only going to make you feel worse, why focus on it? Instead, consider focusing on something that will make you feel better.
Below are some examples of unhelpful thinking patterns. These patterns will make you feel worse about a situation and are feelings-based, not fact-based. If you notice yourself getting upset because of some of these patterns, take a step back and try to change your thought patterns.
Demanding
Demanding thoughts are often categorised by words such as ‘should’ or ‘must.’ As humans, a common mistake we make when thinking is that we or things ‘should’ or ‘must’ be a certain way. This way of thinking is not flexible and can leave people prone to distress in situations where the demand isn’t met.
Awfulising
This is the tendency to exaggerate the negative consequences of a situation. An example of how this looks like is: “if I don’t pass my driving test it will be the end of the world!”
This kind of thinking inflates a problem until it seems impossible to deal with.
‘Should’ thoughts are like awfalising thoughts as they tend to cause people to think things should be a certain way because it would be awful if they weren’t.
Take a step back from this thought and put it in perspective.
All-or-nothing reasoning
Also known as black-or-white reasoning, this thought pattern causes people to see a situation as either one way or the other. It can distort facts and cause people not to recognise that most situations are neither disastrous nor fantastic and that there can be an in-between.
Generalisation
When a person over-generalises, they draw conclusions about the world, others, or themselves, based on very limited evidence. You can identify this error of thinking (most of the time) when a person complains about a situation with words like ‘always’, ‘never’, and ‘everybody.’ It can often sound like an exaggeration.
Taking it personally
When a person feels responsible for something that’s not their fault, or when they incorrectly assume that another person’s response is directed at them, this is called ‘personalising.’ It’s important to resist the temptation to take matters personally. Doing so promotes better relationships and avoids stress.
Selective attention (and selective memory)
Negative ideas shape the way that a person perceives things. There’s only so much that we can focus on at one time. Therefore, if we are always focusing on the negative, it doesn’t leave much room for us to consider positive events that happen. Selective attention is where a person selectively ignores the positive.
Jumping to negative conclusions
This error in thinking is the tendency to leap to conclusions that are negative, rather than waiting for the evidence. It results in assuming the worst of others, the world and ourselves, making it difficult for people to stick with things over time.
Reading minds
Mind reading is a specific sort of ‘jumping to negative conclusions’ based on the idea that we know what other people are thinking. Much of the time, this sort of assumption is wrong. This is quite common with social anxiety and social phobia.
Labelling
Labelling things is the ultimate generalisation. This is a way of branding people (or situations) as being characterised by a very limited set of qualities, when usually this is not the case.
Condemnation (damning)
This is a type of labelling, where you brand people or situations with a tone of condemnation during times of disappointment. It’s a thinking error because it usually results in bitter resentment and disempowerment. It causes people to feel exhausted.
Predicting catastrophe
This style of thinking causes people to wonder ‘what if’ about situations and to then focus on the negative outcomes that could happen. People don’t usually realise that matters can’t be predicted so easily in advance.
Making false comparisons
When people compare themselves to others, they gauge their own status, worth or success. It can cause them to evaluate themselves poorly. Comparisions aren’t fair and don’t consider all aspects of the situation or the support or luck that the person they’re comparing themselves to had along the way.
Still need help?
Anglicare Southern Queensland provides a range of social and community services to support the varying needs of Queenslanders. Our programs are designed to support the mental health and wellbeing of people at all stages of life. If you are experiencing unhelpful thinking patterns please click here to find out more about our service offerings.