Building resilience in children

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Published on 20 May 2026

Building resilience in children is important for child emotional development and it prepares them for life’s evolving challenges. It also helps them to overcome setbacks and build confidence while doing so. Resilience is an essential learnt life skill which starts to form in childhood.

What is resilience?

Resilience refers to the way that we cope with and bounce back from stress, trauma and difficulties. As explained in our earlier article about resilience, it’s not something that we’re naturally born with. However, it’s something that we do and nurture within ourselves.

The Australian Institute of Family Studies summarises the meaning of resilience very well, stating it’s, “… a dynamic interaction whereby individuals draw on their own personal resources (e.g. planning and decision-making skills) as well as available external resources (e.g. positive social support networks) to respond adaptively to life experiences over time.”¹

Parents raising resilient kids – why it’s important

Resilience is an important factor in child emotional development. Parents can help their children to develop necessary skills to build resilience to become confident, capable and emotionally intelligent adults.

When children experience difficulties, they should be able to reply on skills taught to them which help them cope with their feelings and bounce back. Through continuous learning, children become better at doing so.

Here are some reasons why building resilience in children is important.

It supports them to better manage their emotions overtime
It helps improve their ability to problem solve
Children can create healthier relationships with self, others and their surroundings by better navigating conflict, stress or rejection
It reduces their likelihood of experiencing depression and anxiety in adulthood
They develop lifelong skills to deal with challenges and setbacks later in life.

When can children learn resilience?

During childhood, children and young people can learn resilience in everyday experiences.

Below are some examples of situations where children and young people may be faced with challenges in their daily lives and where resilience can be learned.

Early childhood (0-5 years)

Through soothing and secure attachments, particularly in infancy when babies start to learn how to regulate their emotions
Through learning to manage frustrations and outbursts with persistence and curiosity
In pre-school years, resilience can be learnt by helping children to identify their emotions and developing empathy skills.

School aged children (5-12 years)

During their early school years, children learn resilience through understanding complex emotions, managing structure, and handling new challenges such as bullying
As children progress through their school years, resilience is learnt through peer and family relationships dynamics, through handling social hierarchies and managing school workload stress.

Adolescence (12-18 years)

Puberty is both a physically and emotionally challenging time for young people. For adolescents, resilience grows as they navigate these challenges
During adolescence, peer-dynamics and family relationships may continue to change for young people
Responsibility and school-related stress can influence how adolescents build resilience
During their later years of adolescence, self-identity, relationships, work and the pressures of adulthood can force young people to manage stress and adversity in new ways.

How to support children with building resilience

For parents raising resilient kids, it’s important to have the skills and knowledge to help them navigate their challenges and become better at dealing with times of adversity.

Below are some ways that parents and adults can help children build resilience.

Role model

Children and young people learn through the actions and behaviours of important adults in their lives. They observe our reactions and coping strategies, particularly during stressful or challenging times. Therefore, it’s important to stay calm and think or act positively when we’re feeling worked up and practice calming techniques.

Build secure relationships/ attachments

Children are better equipped to deal with stress and difficulties when they feel safe and connected to a stable adult in their life. You can help them build secure attachments by being present, providing consistent care, listening to them and showing them that they don’t have to face anything alone.

Teach children how to regulate their emotions

For children, it’s important that they understand their emotions to be better equipped to manage them. In early childhood, you can teach children how to name their feelings and ways to cope with those different feelings. For example, deep breathing exercises can help children to regulate stressful or turbulent emotions.

Praise them for their coping skills

Adults can help reinforce positive coping skills by praising children for their actions. This can be achieved by pointing out their coping mechanisms when trying to de-regulate themselves and praising them for their efforts.²

Additionally, if they’re struggling to de-regulate, you can help them by providing constructive feedback to help them improve. Just remember to be patient and understanding and make sure that any advice you give them is appropriate for their age and development.

Creating and reinforcing healthy lifestyles

Like adults, children are better equipped to regulate their feelings and emotions when they’re nourished with a healthy lifestyle.³ This includes having a healthy diet, getting consistent good sleep and getting plenty of exercise.

Having routine and boundaries

As explained by Gates Head Health, children aren’t as capable of processing complicated thoughts, like adults. Therefore, it’s important for them to feel safe and secure and this can be achieved with establishing regular routines and clear boundaries.³ Young children need routines and rules reinforced to them in ways that are clear and understandable.

Building problem solving skills

A great strategy for building resilience in children and supporting child emotional development is to equip them with problem solving skills so they can come up with their own solutions to problems. Rather than directly solving problems for children, you can help them by asking them questions like ‘What do you think would help?’ or ‘What have you tried before?’ to encourage them to initiate their own solution. This approach also helps equip children for future challenges that they’ll face.

Developing mindfulness and relaxation skills

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques like deep breathing, guided imagery and progressive muscle relaxation can help calm the mind and bodies of young children during times of distress. These techniques are great for managing increases in blood pressure, heart rates and quickened breathing. The more that children practice these techniques, the better they become at coping during stressful situations.⁴

Deep breathing exercise

Here is an example of a deep breathing mindfulness and relaxation exercise that you can try with your young child the next time that they’re feeling overwhelmed.

Start by getting your child to lay on their back in a comfortable environment (either on a comfy rug or mattress) and get them to take a slow deep breath in through their nose. Then ask them to fill their lungs and belly with that air and slowly breathe it out through their mouth.

You can get them to do this a couple of times and with their hand or a toy on their tummy. Some parents find that their children become more relaxed as they watch this repetitive breathing movement take place.