Managing stress: a guide for parents and families

Stress is a normal part of daily life. Especially for parents and families. However, as we explained in a previous article about stress, when it sticks around for periods of time and impacts our physical and mental wellbeing, that’s when it becomes an issue.

Below, we’ll be exploring what stress looks like for parents and families and providing our favourite strategies to identify it, manage it, and have discussions with your children and the rest of your family.

Work-life balance and family stress: finding the right boundaries

Finding the right work-life balance is important for all adults, but even more so for parents. When work stress spills over into our personal/family lives, it can cause greater stress for the household and affect your close relationships.

When left unmanaged, work stress can lead to conflicts in your relationship, impact your wellbeing, and that of those around you, cause parental burnout, and more.

Signs that work stress is affecting your family

Some of the common signs that work stress might be affecting your family and resulting in negative work-life balance include:

Increased irritability
Increased arguments and conflict
Emotional distancing
Withdrawal from family roles
Frequent discussions about work
Missing important family events for work
Forgetting daily obligations
Decreased presence of the person who is over-working
Changes in communication
Physical and behavioural changes.

If you, or your family member(s), are showing any of these signs and are struggling to manage work-life balance, it’s important to acknowledge it early. Furthermore, it helps to start having non-confrontational and respectful conversations about the challenges you might be experiencing to see how you can work together to create healthy boundaries and ensure that work stress stays at work and that home time is for the family.

Tips for switching off after work

Some ways that you can work on improving your work-life balance and switch off after work include:

Going for a short walk, exercising or going to the gym
Practicing meditation or mindfulness
Listening to music or your favourite podcast to help you unwind
Taking a shower and changing into something comfortable as soon as you get home
As soon as you finish work, and before you spend time with your family, write down what’s on your mind and actions for work the following day
Turning off work notifications and setting your status to after-hours
Doing something enjoyable like; playing a boardgame with your children, cooking an enjoyable meal, reading a book, watching television with your family, etc.
Connecting with your loved ones – have discussions about their day or what’s going on in their lives.

How stress affects family relationships and what to do about it

Stress can have detrimental effects on family relationships, especially if not dealt with accordingly. Stress can result in communication breakdowns within the household, changes in family dynamics, poor mental and physical health, neglect of self-care and care for others, and more.

Stress and communication breakdown

Communication breakdown is one of the biggest and most challenging effects of stress on family relationships. When lines of open communication begin to crumble, families may experience an increase in negative emotions, resentment of others, and outbursts.

Communication breakdowns might also lead to arguments, fighting, exhaustion and confusion. It may also lead to other consequences such as poor mental and physical health, and dependence on alcohol, food, or substances.

Building resilience as a family

When life gets busy and stress starts to impact your family, there are several ways that you can work together to build resilience and overcome challenges, together. First and foremost, it’s important to prioritise spending time together. For some, that might mean coordinating times to catch up. It also helps to ensure that your home life incorporates basic routines to ensure consistency and regularity. This is especially important when young children are involved as it provides a range of social and emotional benefits including structure, safety, and reduced anxiety.

Other ways that you can build resilience for your family relationships, especially during stressful times include:

Clearly communicating with your family members and remembering to listen to them
Nurturing your relationship with everyone in your family
Looking after one another (including yourself)
Staying positive and hopeful
Engaging in self-care and demonstrating the importance of self-care to your children
Being open to the idea of change.

Parental burnout: recognising it and getting on track

Parental burnout is a state of physical, emotional or mental exhaustion. It’s often characterised by decreased pleasure from parenting, stress, and emotional distancing from children.

Recognising parental burnout before it escalates into a long-term and bigger issue is important to help reduce long-term negative effects and strain on the family. Some of the common signs to look out for include:

Physical and/or emotional exhaustion
Feelings of shame about parenting
Feelings of overwhelm about the role of parenting
Feelings of emotional disconnection from children.

According to the University of Queensland, some things that parents can do to prevent or reduce feelings of parental burnout include:

Getting enough sleep
Accepting or asking for help to reduce overload
Setting realistic expectations to reduce pressure on one-self
Setting boundaries
Practicing mindfulness.¹

Parental burnout is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s important to recognise the signs and symptoms early to reduce any negative long-term impacts.

Helping teenagers manage stress and protect their mental health

Teen mental health is an important component of family wellbeing. It’s important for young people to be able to manage their mental health and wellbeing and parents can play an important role in that.

The teen years (12 to 18) can be a confusing time for any young person. Young people may experience a range of emotions during this time, and as a result, this can affect their broader family.

Stress in teenagers can be caused by a variety of factors like pressure at school or work, challenges in their relationships or amongst their peers, puberty, bullying, body image issues, busy schedules, and mental health issues like feelings of depression and anxiety. ²

Ongoing stress can be damaging to a young person’s mental wellbeing. If you’re noticing signs of stress in your young person, here are some tips that Beyond Blue recommend for helping them to overcome it:

Encourage them to talk about problems they’re experiencing
Help them to find ways to relax and suggest meditation or mindfulness
Support them to make big decisions when they’re feeling less stressed.³

Signs your teen is struggling with stress

Here are some of the common signs of stress to look out for in teen mental health.

Physical changes such as changes in sleeping habits, increased physical pain (i.e., headaches and muscle tension) and appetite changes.
Behavioural changes like withdrawal from the family, loss of interest in things they typically enjoy, increase in risk-taking behaviours, and increased irritability or moodiness.
Emotional changes like increased feelings of worry, negative thinking and overwhelm.

How to open the conversation about mental health

First and foremost, when initiating the conversation about mental health with your teenager, it’s important to create a safe, non-confrontational space for them to express any feelings, questions or concerns that they might have. It’s also important to regularly check in on them instead of having a once-off conversation. When opening the conversation about teen mental health with your young person, consider:

Having the conversation at a good/casual time and avoid initiating conversations that are too deep in nature.
Listening to them without interrupting and reflect what they’ve said back to them to show that you are listening and that what they’re saying matters.
Asking open ended questions instead of yes/no questions.
Talking to them in a calm and caring manner.
Being patient and respectful. Sometimes it might take them some time to fully open up and it’s important to go at their pace.
If appropriate, offer tips and advice and encourage them to talk to you when they are feeling challenged.
Checking in with them, regularly.
If professional help might be suitable, suggest it to them in a non-pushy and helpful way.

Anxiety in children: how to help your child feel calmer and more secure

Parents and families can play an important role in managing distress and anxiety in children. In an earlier article, Children’s distress, we explore some strategies that parents can implement to help manage anxiety in young children during times of difficulty.

These strategies include managing your own stress. When you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it’s important to stay on top of it and implement strategies to calm you down. Children learn from and model our behaviours.

In addition to leading by example, you can help to make home a safe space for them by establishing and maintaining routine and feeling safe to connect with other family members. More importantly, another way to help your child feel calm and secure is by talking with them about their fears or concerns to make sense of what they’re experiencing. You can read more about how to talk with your child during times of distress, here.

Final thoughts

As we’ve discussed, stress is a common aspect of life. It affects families differently. However, when it sticks around for prolonged periods and feelings of stress intensify, it’s important to get on top of it early to prevent further harm.

If you’d like to learn more about managing stress, please visit our other resources listed below. Alternatively, if you and your family would like to reach out for support from our family and relationship counselling team, please contact us on 1300 114 307.

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