Tips for discussing home care with a loved one

Suggesting in-home help services may not be a one-off discussion and could be a gradual decision. 

Initiating a conversation about receiving help in the home requires sensitivity and empathy. Begin by expressing concern for your loved one’s wellbeing and highlight the positive aspects of receiving assistance. Actively listen to their concerns while addressing them with compassion and provide them with information about how support can enrich their lifestyle.  

This article explores how to navigate introducing the concept of home care services to ensure it goes smoothly and can be discussed calmly and with mutual respect. 

Starting the conversation 

Choose a relaxed and neutral location to discuss in-home help. Some location ideas include a local park, on the front veranda with a cup of tea or doing an activity together like gardening.

Open the chat with a general observation, for example, “Mum, I’ve noticed over the last few months that you’re having difficulty hanging the washing and doing the ironing”.

Then move to the topic of in-home help with a focus on retaining independence. Stress the importance of accepting help if they wish to continue living independently.

Listen to your loved one. Sometimes a lull in the conversation will help your loved one gather their thoughts so they can open up about how they would like to age and what they believe this will look like.

Reinforce the importance of independence. Your loved one may have declined your offers of assistance in the past, so having someone else help may feel like a threat to their independence or signify weakness. It’s good to stress that home care is designed for them to remain in their home, living their chosen lifestyle for as long as possible.

In-home care is about empowering your family member. Recognising that help is needed means your loved one is actively managing their own ability to live as they wish. In fact, Australia’s consumer-directed model of care ensures that your loved one will have complete control of the care services they engage with and how they may help.

 

Three effective ways to introduce home care​​​

1. Suggest a small level of assistance, initially

If the health and safety of your family member is not at imminent or serious risk, then introducing the concept of home care with a small level of assistance may be the way to go. For example, an elderly mother who is having difficulty with washing and ironing could have a home carer visit once or twice a week to put a load of washing on and help with folding and ironing. 

2. Enlist a third party

Introducing a trusted health professional or close family friend to the conversation with your family member could help take the emotion out of the conversation. Taking this approach may assist with keeping the focus on the facts and reduce the risk of a heated discussion. 

3. Remind them it will help you too

Taking care of a loved one when you know they are struggling at home can place enormous pressure on a son, daughter or other relative. Let your loved one know that accepting help is, in fact, helping you too. In-home care will free up your loved one’s time and your own time too, so you can both focus on spending the time you have together in a meaningful way. 

Addressing common concerns

1. Concerns about loss of independence

If the health and safety of your family member is not at imminent or serious risk, then introducing the concept of home care with a small level of assistance may be the way to go. For example, an elderly mother who is having difficulty with washing and ironing could have a home carer visit once or twice a week to put a load of washing on and help with folding and ironing. 

2. Financial apprehensions

There is financial help available. Government funding is available for most services via the Commonwealth Home Support Program (CHSP) and Home Care Package (HCP). If you are not eligible for government funding, Anglicare Southern Queensland can still provide services for you under a fee-for-service arrangement. We can help you navigate the options, prioritising financial stability.

3. “I don’t need it yet”

The decision to explore home care services is a proactive step toward maintaining your independence to live at home for longer. The sooner you start investigating the options available, the longer you will have to find the right provider and services for your needs.   

Moreover, accessing services before you have no other choice but to receive them is a smart move toward preventing falls or injuries associated with ‘over doing it’ – some of the most common triggers for accessing help, or needing to move into an aged care home. The proactive mindset not only ensures a smoother transition to necessary assistance but also promotes a safer living environment.    

Whatever your situation, starting the conversation with your loved one is a positive step. It may take a series of these conversations, so patience and persistence may be needed. 

We are here to help you

By calling us on 1300 610 610, we can support you through the process of applying for and organising home care services. We can assist you to register with My Aged Care for an Aged Care Assessment. This is the first step to receiving government funding assistance. Contact 1300 610 610 or email [email protected] to arrange a free, confidential no-obligation discussion.

Contact us today about help at home support